This is...

How many of you live in your comfort zone?  I'd venture to ask further, how many people in this world even truly know their comfort zones.  I've been pondering this one for quite some time, and it's been interesting what I've come up with.  As I said in a much earlier blog, I am currently working a process in a class called Re-Formation.  It's been fantastic, scary, eye opening, tear evoking and absolutely freeing!  I've discovered things about my past which I'd forgotten, or shoved to the deep dark corners of my memories in hopes to forget.  I've faced these fears and overcome them - and in turn, I've had my eyes opened to the reasonings behind some of the things I do in my life.  In all of this, there is one particular question that continued to stir in my heart... softly at first, with little depth, but as I continued through the steps of Re-Formation, it got louder and louder, until I could no longer ignore it.  This question was a very...

Many of you have come to enjoy my blogs, and I greatly appreciate the feedback and support!  This time around, I blogged, but not here!  I was asked to guest blog, as a gueSTARtist at www.WeirdForGood.com .  Feel free to check it out... while you're there, be sure to read all about the idea behind "the Turn", which you can do by clicking on "What is the Turn?" link at the top of the homepage.  Be sure to add your comments and responses and replies to the WFG guest blog on the site, we'd love to hear what you have to say! Click the link below to be taken directly to the blog post http://weirdforgood.com/2011/09/single-mom-quits-using-no-%E2%80%93-kids-quit-misbehaving-get-to-live.html

I don't feel old enough or grown up enough sometimes to be facing some of the things God has blessed me with in my life.  It's an interesting feeling honestly, a mixed array of scared, anxious, excited, unsure...Like that first time I went cliff jumping at Lake Tenkiller on a family vacation... Standing at the top of the cliff, feeling so very small and insignificant, but feeling everyone is watching me, so I can't fail, I can't back out!  I step up to the edge and make the mistake of looking down... oh Lord, there's no way I'm making that jump!  Do you see how DARK that water is?!  Do you see how FAR down that water is?! There is NO WAY I'm going to jump off this cliff, I'm not strong enough, I'm not big enough...that's what I'll tell everyone...then they won't know it's because I am scared...  Then the words of those I love - those who have always supported me though the good and the bad parts of life - start to reach my ears ...

There are so many mixed emotions that come with Fathers Day in my home.  Mainly, it is a day of celebration, and one my children look forward to!  The gifts and crafts and cards that are made at school and at church are adjusted slightly, to be for their Papa or their Uncle, who they will tell you are "kinda just like a dad to them!"  Actually, this year, I got a doctored up fathers day card!  The word "dad" was crossed out my my daughter and replaced with the word "Mom".  It was very sweet and I loved it!  All in all, fathers day is a good day for my kids - surprisingly it is one without many questions (for now I'm sure) as to who their "dad" is and where he may be.  The mixed emotions - those are mine.  There is a song, one that tends to play at the exact moment I need to hear it - sometimes it plays on the radio, and sometimes it plays in my heart, either way, it's lyrics are one's I cannot, and do not want, to forget.  T...

Wow... it's been awhile since I've been on here.  A friend pointed out to me, as I was spilling my guts and falling apart, that it had been awhile since I'd blogged... and that I'd mentioned it was a really great stress release for me.  It truly is, getting to write and work my way though issues, even if it's in a public forum sometimes.  I would hope, by writing about my trials and life happenings and how I came through them - both good and bad - that perhaps it could help others going through similar situations.  It's been a long couple of months, as I already said, and many things have been going on.  I am choosing to write, finally, tonight simply because God knocked me over the head with a giant bat of reality and perspective!  The reality being that yes, things have not been going to best lately, but I have been focusing on the negative far more than I would ever typically do.  The perspective side being, well... simply that; perspect...

Alright, so I've never been one to buy into the idea that life is easy, but I never thought things could be as difficult as they are sometimes!  Sure, there are always going to be things that come up that are crazy difficult... but I'm talking about things that I knew would come, but never could have imagined how hard they were going to be!  I'm talking about my kids.  I knew parenting would be hard, and I'll admit, there are pieces that were easier than I thought and pieces that have been harder, but all in all it's been about as difficult as I imagined it would be.  This past week was a great example of things being harder than I ever thought they'd be.  Sierra has a new friend down the street, very sweet girl.  This girl is an only child and is Sierra's age which translates into she and Sierra are instant best friends.  I think it's great, all kids should have friends and I was glad to see she was making friends on our block. So Sierra goes...

I can truly say, if someone would have told me four years ago, I'd be where I am today, I would have laughed, and then probably cried.  It has been just over four years since my divorce finalized.  It was an array of mixed emotions the day everything was said and done.  I was excited, anxious, furious, thrilled, scared, nervous but most of all, it was just an overwhelming feeling of relief.  Four years ago, I officially became the full time single mom of my beautiful daughter, who was nearly three at the time, and my amazing son, who was almost one.  I had always felt like a single mom, even in my marriage, but now it was "for real".  Granted, my daughter was 12 days old when my ex-husband deployed for a year... so some would say technically I was a single mom during that first year of her life.  He came home and we made it six months before I knew he needed help and I needed to leave.  I wasn't even 2 months pregnant with my son when ...

Have you ever just found yourself in the oddest of emotional and mental states?  Consider tonight, I have had an incredible week, so many positive things in so many areas of my life this week, and yet here I find myself sitting home, kids are in bed.... house is quiet.... it's dark outside and I am starting to feel so incredibly alone, which does not present happy and positive thoughts in my head.  And it's not at all that I am scared or discontent with being alone in my own house, it's more that I don't want to be just content anymore.  Nights like this happen quite rarely.  Typically, I have so many things like dishes and laundry to do or a book or my devotions to read, but none of those things provide my escape tonight.  Tonight, I face the reminders that I am alone.  Now for those of you reading this, please let me clarify here, I am not truly alone.  My children are here, and I love them dearly.... majority of my family lives within 20 minutes o...

I was incredibly conflicted in my emotions last night and again this morning.  I love my daughter, she is my baby girl, and sometimes she is really good at reminding me she is no longer a baby.  She is getting so big and is discovering her independence.  That is the heartwarming part, it warms my heart and makes me so happy to see her full of such self confidence and assurance!  Those are two attributes I felt I lacked in my childhood years, to no fault of my own parents, but simply because I felt I lacked them.  Anyway, back to what she did... I go, as I've done since she was a baby, to go and tuck my kiddos into bed.  I start up the stairs and say "I'm coming to tuck kiddos in who are in bed and ready!" and usually I hear giggles or feet  rushing to beds.  This particular night, instead I hear "NOOOOOO!!!!  Wait!!!  I don't want anyone to go in my room" Now at this point, as you fellow parents reading this may have already guessed,...

Want to know what I believe to be one of the greatest blessings God gives us?!  FRIENDS!  It was my birthday last week, and it was a good birthday, I turned 28 and I still don't feel old :-)  I also got to go out for my birthday!  Me and five of my amazing friends went out dancing downtown!  It was fantastic!  My sis in law knew the club owner so he had champange already on ice waiting when we walked in!  The whole night was amazing, surrounded by great friends, doing one of my favorite things ever.... DANCING!  How many of you like to dance?  And I mean really dance... like with steps and rhythm?  I love to go out dancing!  Country dancing is my favorite, like two stepping, cowboy cha-cha, tripple step and swing, which is my favorite!  I took east coast swing dance lessons in high school with a group of friends, which is when I found my love for it.  And you pair a good dance with a good lookin man who ca...

Just in case you may not have noticed or known, it snowed last night here in Colorado.  Now, I'm not a grumpy guss who goes on and on about "blah, it's snowing, ew and ick!!"  I like the snow!  There are some extras that come with it I'm not so crazy about... like the icy roads, the cold air, the mud hole my backyard becomes... but for the most part I look at snow and see the quiet and amazing beauty God provides us, even on the dreariest of days!  But even with all the beauty there is still one thing that makes it very difficult for me the see the plus side of snow... the snow shovel.  Oh yeah, sure, I have a snow blower (thanks dad for that!!) but I also have neighbors, and as nice as they are, they're not too keen on the hum of a snow blower at 6am!  So, I shoveled three times yesterday, because I learned when you just keep driving over it you get ice from the pack down of your tires... and ice and I... we have some history, and it's not so great :...

Does the time go slower the closer it gets to Friday?!  I'm nearly certain it does, but I haven't been able to prove it yet.  Oh well.  So I have decided I am going to branch out and start trying new things, like new syles, new foods, new hobbies!  This year is going to be a good one for me!  I'd love to hear any suggestions any one has, you know, tangible ones that I would actually do haha!  Skydiving is on the list, though I'm guessing it'll keep getting pushed back to the bottom :-) Last night, I bought a hat.  I'll have to get a picture out here, because it's not just a baseball hat or something, but one of those cute knit style ones that you see other women wearing and think "that is such a cute hat but i couldn't pull it off."  Well guess what, I can pull it off, and dag nabbit I did!  HEHE!  I bought the hat AND  I wore it to work today.  Not all day, just on the way in and on the way out, but I made myself leave it on...

So, bear with me, I've never blogged before!  It's been on my mind to start one for awhile now, and I've had a few people tell me I should start one, with all the things I tell them about life, so now I am!  Whether you desire to read what I have to write or not is your choice, it won't hurt my feelings :-).  I don't know yet what this blog will be about.  It's just me.  Plain and simple, life as I see it and live it.  Sometimes my life is quiet and boring, which is okay, because sometimes it's beautifully chaotic and upside down.  Either way, it's life, and I love it. Here is a little about me for those of you who don't know.  I am a single mom of two beautiful children.  I'd say they're the most amazing children on the face of this earth, but I feel I'm a little biased in that opinion seeing as how I am their mommy!  Either way, I love them like crazy and they are the world to me.  I have two amazing parents whom I love dearly a...