So, bear with me, I've never blogged before! It's been on my mind to start one for awhile now, and I've had a few people tell me I should start one, with all the things I tell them about life, so now I am! Whether you desire to read what I have to write or not is your choice, it won't hurt my feelings :-). I don't know yet what this blog will be about. It's just me. Plain and simple, life as I see it and live it. Sometimes my life is quiet and boring, which is okay, because sometimes it's beautifully chaotic and upside down. Either way, it's life, and I love it.
Here is a little about me for those of you who don't know. I am a single mom of two beautiful children. I'd say they're the most amazing children on the face of this earth, but I feel I'm a little biased in that opinion seeing as how I am their mommy! Either way, I love them like crazy and they are the world to me. I have two amazing parents whom I love dearly and who - despite nearly 28 years of having innocent and non-trouble causing me (yes, that is sarcasm you're sensing there) - love me and are a very important and frequent part of mine and my childrens lives. I have two sisters. Even though they picked of me and did all those sisterly things big sisters are supposed to do to little sisters, I still love them; even moreso as we grow older and find sisters are a beautiful part of life. I am blessed with an amazing younger big brother. Yes, you read that right. He is younger than me, but for as long as I can remember, he's always been bigger than me. It used to make me mad when people thought I was younger and he was older, but now I don't mind being called the younger one at all! Along with my siblings I have two brother-in-laws who are fantastic, each unique and wonderful in his own way and a sister-in-law, who we've just decided is my sister, and drop the in-law. I have a niece and a nephew, both who are entering their teenage years and both who are just awesome! So that is my family, and that doesn't even go into my friends! Though I can't imagine I'm going to blog about life and not include my friends along the way, so you'll meet them as we go!
Today is the second day of 2011. That still baffles me. Where are the flying cars we were promised would be invented and in every home at this point?! Where is my robot that does dishes and laundry, like the Jetsons? Hrm.. though the Jetsons was set in the year 2062.... dang, by that time I'll be too old to remember what a robot is!! Haha! Just kidding... mostly! Anyway, back to the original topic, 2011. (Oh, and my friend Jamie would refer to that as a squirrl moment, where you jump tracks from one topic to another and then back. If you don't know the reference, watch the movie UP from Disney... great movie!) So here it is, Jan 2, 2011. I am 8 days away from turning 28 years old. That means I'm two years and eight days from being 30. Everyone says 30 is so scary and so aweful... why do people dread turning 30? It's a chance to celebrate another year in this incredible adventure God has given called life, an opportunity to start fresh another decade in your legacy, however big or small it may seem! Have you ever just looked at life? I mean really just stopped, looked at where you are right now and everything that got you to that point? Is it what you thought it would be? Mine isn't. It's even better! Sure there are a few things missing from my life that I would like to have, like a spouse, a six figure paycheck, a heater that I could run and not cost me a dime... haha! I'm sure someone will invent that one day!
Even with things missing that I would like to have, I have to admit looking at it all that I have a pretty dang good life. I have two healthy, happy kids, a family I can depend on who I love and they love me, I have good friends, a job with a steady income and a roof over my head to keep my family warm... even if the warmth has a pricey price tag (if you haven't guessed it, the gas bill came for this month... it's definitely winter!) I know the fact that I am happy where I am comes from the comfort of knowing I am a follow of Christ. Oh trust me, I've strayed from the path more times than I can count... sometimes I've gotten so far out of line, there was no line left to see! But some how, I've always found my way back. Each time I found my way back, it was in a time of crisis, of need and sorrow in my life. I'd find my way back and things would start to get back on track and life would start to make sense and be fulfilling.... and then I'd wander away again. I think the difference this time, is when life is going good and making sense and is fulfilling, I am still on my track... mostly. We all wander, we all stray. It's the desire to strive to stay on that path as best we can, everyday, that makes the difference. It's the desire to want to live in God's presence, as my pastor taught this morning.
It really made me think, listenting to my pastor this morning. The difference this time around, the reason I have a stronger relationship with Jesus is because even when things are good, I am still living in Him, and I recognize it wasn't me who made it all good, it was Him. And when things get dark and hard and scary, I know He's still there. That is the difference, to seek Him when things are going good and not just when things are going bad. I hope my kids learn that one sooner than I did.
Have you ever wondered what you could've done different with your kids? Please tell me I'm not the only one! And mine are only 4 and 6 for cryin out loud! I've eased up a little on myself, not worried so much about what I should've done differently and focused more on the here and now. The life of a single parent is an interesting one.
Here is a little about me for those of you who don't know. I am a single mom of two beautiful children. I'd say they're the most amazing children on the face of this earth, but I feel I'm a little biased in that opinion seeing as how I am their mommy! Either way, I love them like crazy and they are the world to me. I have two amazing parents whom I love dearly and who - despite nearly 28 years of having innocent and non-trouble causing me (yes, that is sarcasm you're sensing there) - love me and are a very important and frequent part of mine and my childrens lives. I have two sisters. Even though they picked of me and did all those sisterly things big sisters are supposed to do to little sisters, I still love them; even moreso as we grow older and find sisters are a beautiful part of life. I am blessed with an amazing younger big brother. Yes, you read that right. He is younger than me, but for as long as I can remember, he's always been bigger than me. It used to make me mad when people thought I was younger and he was older, but now I don't mind being called the younger one at all! Along with my siblings I have two brother-in-laws who are fantastic, each unique and wonderful in his own way and a sister-in-law, who we've just decided is my sister, and drop the in-law. I have a niece and a nephew, both who are entering their teenage years and both who are just awesome! So that is my family, and that doesn't even go into my friends! Though I can't imagine I'm going to blog about life and not include my friends along the way, so you'll meet them as we go!
Today is the second day of 2011. That still baffles me. Where are the flying cars we were promised would be invented and in every home at this point?! Where is my robot that does dishes and laundry, like the Jetsons? Hrm.. though the Jetsons was set in the year 2062.... dang, by that time I'll be too old to remember what a robot is!! Haha! Just kidding... mostly! Anyway, back to the original topic, 2011. (Oh, and my friend Jamie would refer to that as a squirrl moment, where you jump tracks from one topic to another and then back. If you don't know the reference, watch the movie UP from Disney... great movie!) So here it is, Jan 2, 2011. I am 8 days away from turning 28 years old. That means I'm two years and eight days from being 30. Everyone says 30 is so scary and so aweful... why do people dread turning 30? It's a chance to celebrate another year in this incredible adventure God has given called life, an opportunity to start fresh another decade in your legacy, however big or small it may seem! Have you ever just looked at life? I mean really just stopped, looked at where you are right now and everything that got you to that point? Is it what you thought it would be? Mine isn't. It's even better! Sure there are a few things missing from my life that I would like to have, like a spouse, a six figure paycheck, a heater that I could run and not cost me a dime... haha! I'm sure someone will invent that one day!
Even with things missing that I would like to have, I have to admit looking at it all that I have a pretty dang good life. I have two healthy, happy kids, a family I can depend on who I love and they love me, I have good friends, a job with a steady income and a roof over my head to keep my family warm... even if the warmth has a pricey price tag (if you haven't guessed it, the gas bill came for this month... it's definitely winter!) I know the fact that I am happy where I am comes from the comfort of knowing I am a follow of Christ. Oh trust me, I've strayed from the path more times than I can count... sometimes I've gotten so far out of line, there was no line left to see! But some how, I've always found my way back. Each time I found my way back, it was in a time of crisis, of need and sorrow in my life. I'd find my way back and things would start to get back on track and life would start to make sense and be fulfilling.... and then I'd wander away again. I think the difference this time, is when life is going good and making sense and is fulfilling, I am still on my track... mostly. We all wander, we all stray. It's the desire to strive to stay on that path as best we can, everyday, that makes the difference. It's the desire to want to live in God's presence, as my pastor taught this morning.
It really made me think, listenting to my pastor this morning. The difference this time around, the reason I have a stronger relationship with Jesus is because even when things are good, I am still living in Him, and I recognize it wasn't me who made it all good, it was Him. And when things get dark and hard and scary, I know He's still there. That is the difference, to seek Him when things are going good and not just when things are going bad. I hope my kids learn that one sooner than I did.
Have you ever wondered what you could've done different with your kids? Please tell me I'm not the only one! And mine are only 4 and 6 for cryin out loud! I've eased up a little on myself, not worried so much about what I should've done differently and focused more on the here and now. The life of a single parent is an interesting one.
Let me stop a minute here and just say, I am not now, nor will I ever choose to be, a victim as a single parent. Many single parents are viewed and conveyed as victims of their own situation, as a single parent. I am not a victim, nor do I see my children as innocent victims of my divorce or as children of a single parent. I believe we CHOOSE whether we are bound by the chains of being a victim or not. Okay, now I will step down off my soapbox, and hope I don't fall doing so! Haha! Those of you who don't know me would need to understand I am just an accident looking for an odd place to happen... in other words, I am quite accident prone! We'll save those stories for other days.
So back to kids. I"m sure someone reading this is thinking "thank God I'm not the only parent who worries about these things!" We all worry as parents don't we? I've been told I am a little over protective of my kids, but I'm okay with that. I love them, I don't want them to be hurt, but I know that pain is part of growing up and I can't bear it all for them... they'd never know how to handle it themselves if I took it all for them right? I want to be a good mom, to know what my kids are going through and be there for them when they need me, even if they don't realize I am aware of whats going on with them. My son, who is four, put it really well when it comes to how I watch my kids. He was walking backwards, where we were I don't remember, but he is into this walking backwards thing lately. Anyway, he was walking backwards and my mom says to him "you should turn around so you don't run into something and hurt yourself. You don't have eyes in the back of your head!" and so he turns around, without missing a step and responds to my mom with "i know, but my mommy gots eyes in the back of her head!" Haha! It's great to know they know I'm there and I see them. Does that mean I stop them from getting hurt everytime? No, because sometimes we have to feel the pain to learn the hard lessons in life. I'd rather they learn the cause and effect of pain now, when the pain is minimal and short, than when they're grown up and the pain risks being life altering and long. I think what it all leads to, is knowing I live in God's presence day to day, and that in the true essence of it all, my children are His, and no matter how great a mom I become, I will never come close to doing as good of a job as He does in raising my children. So I choose to live in His presence and trust that I am able to be the mom He has called me to be, and that He knows my kids and what life has in store for them. So then I wonder, why worry? I suppose its simply human nature of us to worry, but it is comforting to rest in the knowledge I don't have to worry, even if I still do!
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear..." Matthew 6:25
Alright, well I have chattered long enough for tonight. I'll blog another day and let you finally be at the end of this one. Have a great day, or night, whatever time you're reading this and may you be blessed in this new year, and in all the years to follow! See you again soon!
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