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...what I asked for

Have you ever just felt overwhelmed with where things were in your life?  Even when they're good, it can be overwhelming!  And I know I can't be the only one who has ever thought Oh My Gosh?!  What Was I THINKING?!  I have a mindset this year, it is to strive to be the best at what's put in front of me... that means be the best at handling big changes on the job, be the best at keeping calm and not yelling when things go crazy at home, be the best in my prayer life, be the best at managing my finances (this one needs some polishing!), the best at putting God first in my life...  Just simply be the best at what comes my way.  Now, the hard part of that mindset, is even when a task is placed before me, and I KNOW I'm not going to be the best at it... I still tackle it with that attitude, with that goal of being the best. 

So, I started with my prayer life - because to be honest, it's lacking; which is sad because I have seen the power of prayer in my life, yet I struggle to keep it on the forefront of my day.  I have started to say a prayer, every morning in my car in the parking lot at work.  I ask God to help me step aside and to let Him shine through me today, to help me keep a positive, best attitude no matter what is put on my plate, and to provide some challenge in my day to day (which when I started my morning prayer time, my day to day was becoming quite dull)... Now, I know my bible well enough to know that praying for the patience of Job could end up nothing like what I had in mind when I prayed for patience... (if you're asking yourself "what the heck is she talking about?!" read the book of Job in the bible, amazing story and testment to true faith and patience) So, I know about praying for patience, but I never really considered the prayer for a challenge... Have you ever wondered if God has a sense of humor?  I'm quite certain He does :-) 

So there I've been, morning after morning, praying for a strong attitude, opportunities to let Him shine through my life and a challenge or two on my plate.  As it reads in Luke 11:9 "And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given to you; Seek, and ye shall find; Knock, and it shall be opened unto you."  I asked, and He has answered.  In less than 48 hours, my day to day went from dull and boring to YOU WANT ME TO TAKE ON WHAT?!!  I am faced with a large challenge at work, made up of smaller challenges.  I'll be honest, at first, I freaked out.  I thought

"Oh my gosh!  I'll never be able to do this?!  Why in the WORLD would they give this to me?!" 

But as the dust settled and reality sank in, a calming sense came to me, and I understood.  I have asked, and I am receiving.  I asked for challenges in my day because it is in a challenge where I tend to rise up to meet the bar of expectations, it is where I feel alive and where I thrive - in the chaos.  It has been challenge after challenge in my life which has lifted me into the strength I have been blessed with today.  God knows this about me, He has watched over me and guided me though some pretty tough challenges thoughout my life; and every time, it was God who was shining. 

So today, I went into work, ready to take it all on, ready to step up to the plate and knock one out of the park.  Today, I shone - not because I know what I'm doing or because I'm the best at what I do... Today, I shone because, just as I have every morning for a couple of weeks now, I asked God to step into my day, to guide me and to help me trust that He knows what He's doing with my life.  For the first time in a couple of days, I don't feel like I'm drowning in the deep end I was just tossed into; as a matter of fact, I feel good about what I've been tasked to do and ready to face it!  Watch out Monday... this girl's got two whole days of rest before I have to tackle you... and it's going to be one heck of a tackle!!

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